How to be nice while challenging customers: 3 assertiveness exercises

Those who work on their own can sometimes have to deal with unpleasant situations with customers, which cause misunderstandings, sometimes even friction and discussions.

The causes can be the most diverse: poor education or lack of respect for the profession, unclear communication on both sides, little awareness of the sector by the client, attempts to prevaricate, and so on.

However, in an employment relationship, it is important to be able to maintain calm and politeness, but without giving in to one’s positions if you have valid reasons to support them.
Is the customer always right? No. 😊

Here, therefore, that to manage these situations, not only kindness and courtesy come into play, but also assertiveness. Valuable skills that you can train with time and practice. And they allow you to bring home results and effective and efficient working relationships.

In this article, we at Jopla will explain to you how to be kind to the most demanding customers for requests, without giving in to your positions, thanks to assertiveness.

We also do this to help you earn good customer reviews. Because in our platform both you and the customer will receive some feedback, including one on kindness. You can find our review guidelines here.

If you find yourself in this introduction and these words resonate with you, then we recommend that you read the entire article to the end. We hope it can be useful for you to face and manage some situations that unfortunately can happen in professional life. But that they mustn’t affect your serenity and mental health.

Enjoy the reading!

Perhaps you have already heard this term, or perhaps you already know it. We don’t take it for granted, so before we show you how to be kind with the help of assertiveness, let’s briefly explain what is meant by this word.

According to the Garzanti dictionary, assertiveness means “the set of cognitive and behavioral skills that allow a person to assert his or her personality without falling into passive and aggressive behavior”. Simply put, it’s a skill that is all about interpersonal communication and you can learn and train it.

It helps you to be respected, to assert needs, rights, ideas with kindness and firmness, without aggression and inappropriate tones.

That’s why it’s very useful in private life, but also at work: to let people know that you’re worth it, but also how far and how far you can go.

In summary, assertiveness means and implies:

In the world of work, in general, many people feel uncomfortable setting boundaries, and saying no to the manager or customers. Even if they have every reason and every right to do so.

Knowing how to say no, or draw boundaries beyond which one cannot go professionally, is not synonymous with rudeness or impoliteness. Indeed, they are methods that protect the psychophysical well-being of the person, prevent burnout and ensure that the professional relationship is more effective, and also more efficient.

There are those who, even than him, are more inclined to express their refusal, or their opposition to a request, in a kind but firm and decisive way. And those who, on the other hand, as we have seen, find it more difficult, because they are not used to it and experience a feeling of unease and even a sense of guilt. There are also those who, on the contrary, don’t know how to be kind because they tend to respond aggressively.

So now let’s see how to be kind to customers by exercising assertiveness, asserting one’s reasons and rights.

In many cases, the differences between professional and client can occur when the employee communicates the price of a product or service, especially if it is self-employed.

The customer may not understand the value of what you offer, but this does not authorize him/her to belittle your professional work, nor to ask for a price that is too low, off the market.

This is an excellent example in which you will have to learn to exercise assertiveness: not to belittle yourself, not to make your work perceived as of little importance and value, both for you and for the whole professional category.

Then, in response, kindly and politely communicate your value, the hours of work behind your offer, the skills you have acquired, the results and the advantages that the client obtains with your contribution. Maintain a calm but firm attitude, responding to any manipulative techniques and unfounded and aggressive criticisms.

If there’s just no common ground, even if you’ve tried to practice how to be nice, you can refuse to work with this person.

Another case in which it is necessary to set professional stakes may be the one in which customers turn up at any time, write and send voicemails on WhatsApp with requests at all hours, or program calls, video calls and meetings  continuously, even when it is enough to explain and update yourself with a simple email.

It is good to clarify, right from the start, with assertiveness, that there are pre-established times in which you guarantee your availability, unless your profession contemplates this working method, and beyond which you cannot go. And that you are available for a maximum number of calls and meetings per month, unless there is a real urgency or need.

Otherwise, you can say that time and availability must be quantified and paid for. Usually, this last condition acts as a deterrent.

In life as a freelancer, or as a self-employed person, it can happen that customers go beyond what is agreed in the estimate, or in the contract, and ask for actions that are not your responsibility. The biggest problem is when they ask for it, or even demand it, for free.

First, consider case by case and request by request. If it’s an exaggerated and incorrect request, you’ll respond by making good use of assertiveness and kindness.

In fact, it could be a job that is not your responsibility, because it is not part of your profession, and you will point it out. Or the required actions involve hours of time and study, which must be recognised financially. It will be your right to communicate it to the customer and submit a new estimate, explaining your reasons. Based on the feedback you receive, you will decide whether to accept or reject.

At Jopla we are certain that kindness is indispensable in the work and that it takes you far. There’s no reason not to be nice to people, even in professional life.

In this final part of the article, however, we want to show you how being kind is also beneficial for your business.

Indeed, kindness has the power to be contagious and to generate more. If with your manners, or with a smile (spontaneous, not artificial) you make a person feel good, you will get better relationships and psychophysical well-being.

And being kind, sometimes, can also be disorienting for those customers who, initially, were very disinclined to dialogue.

In fact, remember that people choose you as a professional also for who you are, how you behave with them, for the approach you have. And if the clientele is satisfied they will come back and speak well of you, as in a virtuous circle.

In questo articolo ti abbiamo mostrato come essere gentile con i clienti, anche quelli più impegnativi da affrontare e gestire. 

Confidiamo che ti possa essere stato utile leggere questi esercizi che ti abbiamo proposto. Ora non ti resta che mettere in pratica i consigli su come essere gentile, allenando l’assertività. E se stai cercando nuovi clienti, apri gratis il tuo account qui su Jopla.